How to make sure no one sees your YouTube video

  1. Give your video a vague title, so the viewer has to work to find out what your message is and whether it’s relevant to him or her.
  2. Edit it so it’s at least 1 minute longer than it really needs to be. The longer, the better!
  3. Don’t worry about poor lighting or inadequate microphones. Potential fans and customers will stick through terrible production values to get your message.
  4. Tag your video with things unrelated to your content. “lady gaga” “justin bieber” “the x factor” on all your videos about cats will help SEO!
  5. Whatever you do, don’t include your website address in the video’s description, ESPECIALLY not in the first portion. Your video listed in a search will only display the first 100 or so characters of the description, so you had better make sure that information makes it as difficult as possible for the viewer to get more information.
  6. You get 1000 characters to make your case in your video description. Use every single one, and remember that the more confusing your description, the more mystery you create.
  7. The less obvious your message, or where you fit into your music scene or business niche, the harder your potential fans will have to work to get to know you. Everyone loves guessing on the internet, especially considering how many other choices there are out there. Play hard to get.
  8. Most importantly, make sure you have nothing to contribute to a greater community.

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